I have a problem with religion. Well, I have a few problems with religion actually, but one of my problems is people who have just so much faith that they come to rely on it.
I know that you can look at loads of religions and there are real extremists around the world, who none of us are ok with.
But there are people like my soon-to-be Mother-in-law.
She is catholic. She devotes her life to the church. Nothing wrong with that at all - my grandad is a vicar and my grandma is a Preacher. It's just that they also have a life outside of the church. And they also do not put so much pressure on God.
Yes, my partner's mum doesn't realise it but she almost takes advantage of God. She doesn't think for herself, she doesn't do anything for herself.
I hope that this doesn't sound like an excuse to slag her off. I know that there are loads of people like her and I am purely using her as an example.
I believe in something. I am not entirely sure in what I believe. I guess it really encompasses ALL religions in a way. All I know is that I do have faith - in myself!
I know that there is something greater than me, but I also know that that something is guiding me to make the right decisions and guiding me to do the right thing, and that everything happens for a reason. I also know that in order for that something to help me out, I have to help myself and I have to help others.
The mother-in-law, on the other-hand, gives God the credit for everything. If she sees a bus in the distance, she will actually pray to God there and then, that the bus will wait for her. When the bus driver obviously sees this middle-aged woman, running for the bus, and decides to wait for her, the mother prays to God and thanks him.
Ok, that's nothing.
She recently had a broken radiator. She called a plumber and the fact that one actually came out to see her was practically a miracle according to her. She told him to set to work whilst she sat on the bed behind and prayed. When the radiator started to work again, she said 'see!' pointing up to the heavens.
And then, there was her dog that went missing. Did she go and look for the dog? Did she call the local pound? Did she call the RSPCA? No! Because if God wanted to bring the dog back, he would deliver it back to her.
Now, I almost think this is laziness, and surely God cant really appreciate this? Must he do everything in this relationship?
I used to think I was always a very lucky person. I have never really had problems or worries or anything. But then I realised, it's not being lucky - it's me being positive.
I have had problems in the past. Nothing huge, but my parents broke up and there followed several different family issues, and then I found out about the not-having-kids thing, and several other things I've forgotten about. But I don't dwell on these things at all, and I make myself come out the other side of them. I know that my house sale has just gone through because I made it go through. We had our mortgage application rejected twice but we pushed and pushed and sent more and more documents and evidence, and in the end the bank agreed to give us our mortgage. But we did that - not God.
And when I do have children, it will be because we went to the hospital and looked at all options, and carried loads of hope and just because we just kept on trying.
There are people who just seem to have such bad luck and everything goes wrong for them. Now I have two theories for that. Either they are just not being positive and not trying for themselves, or they just think that they are worse-off than everyone else, and hold on to the problems they have had rather than holding on to the success they have had.
I thank God everyday for the wonderful life I have and the great friends and fantastic family that I have been given, but I don't thank Him for my house, and I don't thank him for my job. I just thank Him for giving me the hope and positivity to keep trying.
Friday 30 May 2008
Facebook break
I wonder why we're not allowed to use the internet at work?
Why are employers so untrusting of their staff?
I work in a creative environment (well, supposedly) and do need regular breaks. I just can't be creative all the time. It's not like I'm an accountant where I do the calculation and the answer is there. I have to create the answer. And in order for me to create an answer, my brain has to be motivated and awake and 'in the mood' the whole time. But you can't have this mentality all day everyday without regular breaks.
And I am not asking for a half-hour break. Just the opportunity to digress for 5 minutes whilst I quickly check my emails or have a look around Facebook or whatever. Then I can come back to my work, fresh again, and ready to go.
I see other people going for cigarette breaks for 5 minutes in every hour. Why is that allowed then?
Why are employers so untrusting of their staff?
I work in a creative environment (well, supposedly) and do need regular breaks. I just can't be creative all the time. It's not like I'm an accountant where I do the calculation and the answer is there. I have to create the answer. And in order for me to create an answer, my brain has to be motivated and awake and 'in the mood' the whole time. But you can't have this mentality all day everyday without regular breaks.
And I am not asking for a half-hour break. Just the opportunity to digress for 5 minutes whilst I quickly check my emails or have a look around Facebook or whatever. Then I can come back to my work, fresh again, and ready to go.
I see other people going for cigarette breaks for 5 minutes in every hour. Why is that allowed then?
Not good enough
Well, the computer was taken away..... and then returned.
Apparently it was taken away from me because my manager wanted to give it to charity! These people are the most uncharitable people I have ever know, and what's more, I have been petitioning for 4 years to get my own computer. When they finally do give me a computer it is an old laptop handed down from the administrator because she was getting an upgrade! Considering I am a designer, using the computer everyday........!!
Anyway, the charity gave it back because apparently it's not good enough!
Apparently it was taken away from me because my manager wanted to give it to charity! These people are the most uncharitable people I have ever know, and what's more, I have been petitioning for 4 years to get my own computer. When they finally do give me a computer it is an old laptop handed down from the administrator because she was getting an upgrade! Considering I am a designer, using the computer everyday........!!
Anyway, the charity gave it back because apparently it's not good enough!
Thursday 29 May 2008
Employment police?
My computer is about to be removed....
The last few weeks, I have had the IT man remove my computer a few times to do some checks or whatever and I was already quite suspicious.
Now he has said he is taking it away permanently and I will get another tomorrow. Now, I know this Company. It's not the most giving, shall we say. You don't get nowt for free.
I, personally, think they will be handing the computer over to the Employment police. I have spent the last hour wiping everything on here including all histories, cookies, passwords, saved documents - everything. Do you think they can still get me?
I have obviously handed my notice in and I have 2 more weeks to serve. Is it in their best interest to try and sack me before I leave I wonder?
The last few weeks, I have had the IT man remove my computer a few times to do some checks or whatever and I was already quite suspicious.
Now he has said he is taking it away permanently and I will get another tomorrow. Now, I know this Company. It's not the most giving, shall we say. You don't get nowt for free.
I, personally, think they will be handing the computer over to the Employment police. I have spent the last hour wiping everything on here including all histories, cookies, passwords, saved documents - everything. Do you think they can still get me?
I have obviously handed my notice in and I have 2 more weeks to serve. Is it in their best interest to try and sack me before I leave I wonder?
Private Parts
I'm a notoriously private person. I'm not the kind of person to indulge in girly talking about personal matters. I cringe when my female colleagues come in and announce they are 'on' or that they have bladder infections or anything like that.
I dont talk about sex, female problems or anything really that is private and personal to me.
So when I have had to go in and out of doctors and talk about my period pains and worse, it has just been horrible.
I kept it a secret for ages that I was having problems. I even kept it a secret from my boyfriend (I hate him knowing that I'm on my period and would prefer to just avoid him touching me, knowing that he will realise in a few days).
And then eventually I started to email a friend about it. I was very concerned in case she really didnt want to talk about that kind of thing, and sure enough she never did comment. She would reply to my emails but never ever mentioned the things I wanted her to talk about.
So in the end, I went to the doctor again.
I had been a few times in the last 5 years and each time had been tested for chlamydia, been told I was negative, and then given another contraceptive pill to take. The pill would work for a few months and then all the symptoms would break through again.
But when I actually started to get really bad symptoms - awful pain and discomfort and nausea and all sorts of things - I went to see my new doctor and finally was taken notice of.
But it was awful talking about all those things with her and every time I mentioned the word 'Sex' I would say it in a very quiet, hushed voice, almost hoping she hadn't heard what I had said.
When I got told a few weeks later that I had endometriosis and then that I couldnt have children, I was devestated and almost wished I would have been so much more forthcoming in the past few years. Perhaps I would have known sooner and been able to do something about it.
Anyway, then I had to go to the doctors with my boyfriend and talk about it all in front of him. Women's things!
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not prudish at all. But I just don't like to talk about it. I don'tknow - I just like to keep thos ethings to myself and I think I like to protect my boyfriend from it all really. When my friends talk about periods and PMT and urine infections I just think it is so unflattering. Not that I am vain or think I am super-human or anything. I just don't really want people to associate me with that kind of thing. There are definitely some people that I know and I just could never really get over the fact that they had told me something a bit sordid or a bit personal. I dont want people to think of me like that.
And when I had to tell my mum and dad about it all, that was hard too, because I felt that we were almost talking about sex (even though we weren't at all), but come on, you have to have sex to have kids, and there I was talking about fertility treatment with them.
Loads of people have such open relationships with their parents and they talk about everything. Well, my parents are like my best friends - they really are - I can talk to them about everything, and I speak to them every few days for like an hour each. But, I dont talk about sex with ANYONE.
So now I face the prospect of loads more testing and then fertility treatment which I know is important, but at the same time, so so so invasive. The thing I least like to talk about, is going to be the thing I am going to have to talk most about - with a lot of people!
I dont talk about sex, female problems or anything really that is private and personal to me.
So when I have had to go in and out of doctors and talk about my period pains and worse, it has just been horrible.
I kept it a secret for ages that I was having problems. I even kept it a secret from my boyfriend (I hate him knowing that I'm on my period and would prefer to just avoid him touching me, knowing that he will realise in a few days).
And then eventually I started to email a friend about it. I was very concerned in case she really didnt want to talk about that kind of thing, and sure enough she never did comment. She would reply to my emails but never ever mentioned the things I wanted her to talk about.
So in the end, I went to the doctor again.
I had been a few times in the last 5 years and each time had been tested for chlamydia, been told I was negative, and then given another contraceptive pill to take. The pill would work for a few months and then all the symptoms would break through again.
But when I actually started to get really bad symptoms - awful pain and discomfort and nausea and all sorts of things - I went to see my new doctor and finally was taken notice of.
But it was awful talking about all those things with her and every time I mentioned the word 'Sex' I would say it in a very quiet, hushed voice, almost hoping she hadn't heard what I had said.
When I got told a few weeks later that I had endometriosis and then that I couldnt have children, I was devestated and almost wished I would have been so much more forthcoming in the past few years. Perhaps I would have known sooner and been able to do something about it.
Anyway, then I had to go to the doctors with my boyfriend and talk about it all in front of him. Women's things!
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not prudish at all. But I just don't like to talk about it. I don'tknow - I just like to keep thos ethings to myself and I think I like to protect my boyfriend from it all really. When my friends talk about periods and PMT and urine infections I just think it is so unflattering. Not that I am vain or think I am super-human or anything. I just don't really want people to associate me with that kind of thing. There are definitely some people that I know and I just could never really get over the fact that they had told me something a bit sordid or a bit personal. I dont want people to think of me like that.
And when I had to tell my mum and dad about it all, that was hard too, because I felt that we were almost talking about sex (even though we weren't at all), but come on, you have to have sex to have kids, and there I was talking about fertility treatment with them.
Loads of people have such open relationships with their parents and they talk about everything. Well, my parents are like my best friends - they really are - I can talk to them about everything, and I speak to them every few days for like an hour each. But, I dont talk about sex with ANYONE.
So now I face the prospect of loads more testing and then fertility treatment which I know is important, but at the same time, so so so invasive. The thing I least like to talk about, is going to be the thing I am going to have to talk most about - with a lot of people!
Wednesday 28 May 2008
Bored room
You know how it is when the room is so boring and dead, that the radio is on and you've only just realised?
A day in the life of a (graphic?) designer
You should see us all in the artroom. We are all so bored but it would be even more boring to actually do some work. So you have the girl next to me has gone for a walk; the girl in the middle of the room is trimming her split ends; the only guy in the room is doing a crossword; and the girl at the far-end of the room, well, I dont know what she is doing actually - I can't see her - she is hiding!
And the guy does a little half-spin in his chair whilst forcing a yawn - I think he's just checking that we're not all doing work - and then he leans forward and reaches for his dictionary!
The room is a mess so we could tidy up but we are all just way beyond lacking any motivation at all and we don't even mind if someone were to walk in now and catch us not doing anything.
We wish they would say something to us. We wish we could be reprimanded, but discipline is so lax here.
I want a stressful, challenging job.
Even if one of the people from 'upstairs' did come in now, they couldn't really say anything as we have all done the work we were meant to have done. It's not like we're missing deadlines.
The people 'upstairs' are much different to us. They are busy and they all care for the Company. They take work home with them and get in about half an hour early each morning. They work in sales and production and management and have no creative talent whatsoever. They do not understand the working ethics and the environment in the artroom whatsoever, and it really frustrates them.
They work all hours and will still never complete their workload, whilst they see us sitting here bored with nothing to do.
Who has the better job?
I know that in the past, before I had this job, I didnt understand people who actually sought a challenge. I wanted a job where you got to chat and play and not do much all day. Now that I have that job, I really would appreciate a job with a challenge.
I see that prospective employers who might happen to read this, will probably think twice before they give me a job, especially seeing as my CV says that I am highly motivated and hardworking and reliable. I am! I am all of those things! But what's the point when there is nothing to work towards?
Do I just have a bad attitude?
And the guy does a little half-spin in his chair whilst forcing a yawn - I think he's just checking that we're not all doing work - and then he leans forward and reaches for his dictionary!
The room is a mess so we could tidy up but we are all just way beyond lacking any motivation at all and we don't even mind if someone were to walk in now and catch us not doing anything.
We wish they would say something to us. We wish we could be reprimanded, but discipline is so lax here.
I want a stressful, challenging job.
Even if one of the people from 'upstairs' did come in now, they couldn't really say anything as we have all done the work we were meant to have done. It's not like we're missing deadlines.
The people 'upstairs' are much different to us. They are busy and they all care for the Company. They take work home with them and get in about half an hour early each morning. They work in sales and production and management and have no creative talent whatsoever. They do not understand the working ethics and the environment in the artroom whatsoever, and it really frustrates them.
They work all hours and will still never complete their workload, whilst they see us sitting here bored with nothing to do.
Who has the better job?
I know that in the past, before I had this job, I didnt understand people who actually sought a challenge. I wanted a job where you got to chat and play and not do much all day. Now that I have that job, I really would appreciate a job with a challenge.
I see that prospective employers who might happen to read this, will probably think twice before they give me a job, especially seeing as my CV says that I am highly motivated and hardworking and reliable. I am! I am all of those things! But what's the point when there is nothing to work towards?
Do I just have a bad attitude?
eaves dropping
I am listening to my bosses arguing. They argue really loudly and without discretion!
My immediate boss has just told the director to 'just go and do what I have said, and then, just go and shoot yourself in the head!'
My immediate boss has just told the director to 'just go and do what I have said, and then, just go and shoot yourself in the head!'
must ammend
Hmmm.... having just seen what my published blog looks like, I need to do something about the background and header etc. Will work on this......
Welcome!
Hi and welcome to my blog.
I'm new to this and have never done one before so please bear with me if I dont seem to know what I'm doing!
I've known I've wanted to do a blog for ages and just never knew what to write about - I still don't, but I'm sure over time, I'll come up with a theme - I hope so, or else this will just be boring!
Well, let's introduce myself.
I am currently living in London although this is soon to change as I move in 2 weeks up north.
I have been living with my boyfriend for 7 years and we are getting married in September!
More recently we have been joined by a little rabbit who lives with us. He's wonderful and a very energetic and loving addition to the household.
Err... what else?
I am designer. A graphic designer I think. How do you know if you are a graphic designer? I design greetings cards.
I dont have a job to go to when I move up North but I will keep you posted.
Errr...
I guess I should tell you that I recently found out that I have endometriosis and that I cant have kids, well, not naturally anyway. Bit of a blow - well, a big blow actually but we are working through it.
If anything, at least it gets us talking about kids - a subject that was out-of-bounds before, and we have decided to focus on this once we are married.
We need to sort out my endometriosis first.
I am now sat in the artroom supposedly designing cards, although this is a very boring job. I mean, I love designing cards but we dont really have a lot of creative freedom and usually we dont have very much work to do because someone forgets to give it to us. Great opportunity to write a blog though!
I'm new to this and have never done one before so please bear with me if I dont seem to know what I'm doing!
I've known I've wanted to do a blog for ages and just never knew what to write about - I still don't, but I'm sure over time, I'll come up with a theme - I hope so, or else this will just be boring!
Well, let's introduce myself.
I am currently living in London although this is soon to change as I move in 2 weeks up north.
I have been living with my boyfriend for 7 years and we are getting married in September!
More recently we have been joined by a little rabbit who lives with us. He's wonderful and a very energetic and loving addition to the household.
Err... what else?
I am designer. A graphic designer I think. How do you know if you are a graphic designer? I design greetings cards.
I dont have a job to go to when I move up North but I will keep you posted.
Errr...
I guess I should tell you that I recently found out that I have endometriosis and that I cant have kids, well, not naturally anyway. Bit of a blow - well, a big blow actually but we are working through it.
If anything, at least it gets us talking about kids - a subject that was out-of-bounds before, and we have decided to focus on this once we are married.
We need to sort out my endometriosis first.
I am now sat in the artroom supposedly designing cards, although this is a very boring job. I mean, I love designing cards but we dont really have a lot of creative freedom and usually we dont have very much work to do because someone forgets to give it to us. Great opportunity to write a blog though!
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