Getting excited for a new challenge

Oh I love the feeling of suddenly realising what it is that you are supposed to do, even if you're not quite sure how to go about doing it.

Leaving my job in June was a big thing for me. It was a chance to just think about what I wanted.
I started by applying for very similar creative roles like my old job, thinking that that was definitely the best thing - move up the ladder in something I know how to do.

But then I realised that I really wasn't filled with excitement about the prospect of a new job and I was only really half-heartedly looking.

I started thinking to myself that this is really a very special opportunity. I am out of employment, getting paid nothing whatsoever, no benefits or anything. Any money is better than none at all. So I am in a position to start again on minimum wage and train to do anything I like.

Well, initially that filled me with dread to tell the truth. What a burden to try and think of something I really want to do. All kinds of things went through my head - the kinds of things that most people would love to do.
But still, I never got enthusiastic about anything.

And then it came to me. The answer to my question was within me the whole time. It was in my beliefs and personality and I suddenly realised that I want to help people.
The pride I want to have in a job, and the reward I want to feel all comes from making a difference to someone else. I've never really felt true pride. I've never really felt true job satisfaction. I know I've come home having nailed a range of cards I'd designed, but I never went to bed feeling truly proud and happy that I'd done it.

I weighed up the differences between studying to be a teacher, and applying for roles within a healthcare setting, and decided that I would feel more fulfilled in a hospital capacity, and so now the search begins.

It fills me with a huge amount of excitement to feel that I can start from scratch, start studying again, have goals, and learn so much.

I remember my old commute to work, when the first half of the journey would be shared with rowdy kids on their way to school. Sometimes you could hear them comparing what boring subjects they had that day and what homework they'd had to do the night before, or on the bus that morning. I just remember feeling so jealous that they were going to learn all those new things that I had actually loved learning when I was in school.

I can't lie and say that I didn't study when I was in school. I didn't try really hard or anything, but I did study because I actually really enjoyed it. I loved revising for exams and sitting the exam knowing that you were going to do really well.

And that's what I want now. I want to go into a role, not knowing too much, and just taking on so much knowledge and learning new skills and coming home every night to tell my husband all about the new procedures I've learnt.

So now I am going through the NHS website everyday, applying for anything I think I stand a chance in getting. I haven't been to med school or anything so I am unaware of the diverse range of opportunities out there. I could be equally as excited about going into a job that helps new born babies, as I could going into an environment which helps cancer patients. As long as I know that I am contributing somehow to someone's health and happiness, that will be the biggest excitement.

Little Pixels

Thank goodness for Pixels!

Since I moved here 6 weeks ago, I am still unemployed! Desperately seeking Betty will be seeking for a long time it seems.

There is nothing about at all, and my creativity it just waiting to explode.
Apart from that, I can't live off my partner for ever. I feel guilty every time we pay for our food shopping, and I feel guilty when I ask for little things like train fare or little cakes in the supermarket (which is actually a more regular occurence!) and I feel guilty watching him in his office working away whilst I sit on the sofa downstairs doing 'bits 'n' bobs' to feel useful.

Thank goodness for Pixel Air and it's success.
My partner has had his company for a year now and it just goes from strength to strength. I really admire him. He is the best in his field, and rather than be complacent, he challenges himself every day learning new techniques and ways to do things.
His clients are delighted with his results and what's more, he really really loves his job. He huffs and puffs that he has 'so much work to do' but between you and I, he used to sit at his desk til past midnight long before Pixel Air was started! In truth, he loves nothing more than designing websites, and he would do it even if he wasn't getting paid to do it!

Pixel Air is based in our office upstairs, although will soon be moving to bigger premises. I guess Pixel Air is one of the reasons we were able to move so far away from London. Web-based, it was easy to continue relations with all of the clients, and moving somewhere like Knutsford can only be an inspiration.
We have Manchester closeby with all of the museums and galleries, and we have lots of new contacts.

The North hasn't embraced the website culture like London. In London everyone has a website. Even the local newsagent will have a website.

One thing I realised when I was organising our wedding in North Wales, from London, was that I couldn't find any suppliers online. And it was so important to me to be able to see a website, as organising a wedding involves a lot work and research, and I really can't be bothered to phone everyone in the hope that they will have what I want. I need to see pictures easily. If a company didnt have an email, I crossed them off my list as I really didnt have time to waste in calling them, waiting for a leaflet or brochure etc, and then have to do all of our communication via a phoneline.

So we thought that could be a good thing for Pixel Air. The less companies that already have a website the better - we think!

It is 7:15pm now and my partner is still upstairs working. I have asked him to take a night off tonight as it is Friday so that I can spend time with him and, I don't know, do something really exciting like watch a film!
He has agreed! Although I know that he really wouldnt mind sitting up there all night being a little geek with his pixels!!

That's what I want.
I remember starting at my last company - oh what a dream. It was oh so creative and wonderful. I worked so hard. I loved learning new things all the time. Sunday nights I would be filled with excitement for the next day - no, really! I couldn't believe I was actually getting paid to do what I was doing.

However, things changed. Or rather, they didnt! My company was lovely for a new person to work in. Full of challenges and full of praise. But you couldn't progress and there wasn't anything new to learn. I even managed to convince the bosses to create a new role for me as a promotion - something that had never been done before - but even that, little by little, was taken away from me.
After 5 years, I was at the same level as someone who had entered the company only a few weeks ago.

Oh I loved the feeling of loving my job. To be so lucky as to go to work everyday with a spring in your step. To really try hard everyday, not because you had to, but because you wanted to. It was fantastic. I wish it could have lasted longer.

I now realise that the most important thing for me in my next job will be job satisfaction and happiness and pride - all of which I forfeited towards the end of my last job. I am willing to turn down job offers if they do not suit my requirements, because seeing how my partner works inspires to me to do the same.

The more you love your job, the more you will put into it.
Why don't bosses ever see that?